I am formally writing to forgive the NFL and the NBA since they might be the only one's who have it right. I'm even willing to give the NCAA a partial pass, but they are way to culpable for a full pardon. After this weekend I have realized what should have always been the obvious.
Some parents really suck.
No! Not like in the, you suck rocks you jive turkey, kind of way(born in 69...sorry). That would be an unfair judgement for me to say towards a job that is impossible to do perfectly. What I mean is, some parents suck the life out of kids in order to mold them into greatness. The formula for greatness is so elusive that we can't yet determine who's way is right. Making a lot of money certainly is far from a singular measure of greatness, but society has a way of handsomely compensating those who achieve the highest levels of any endeavor, so wealth is often just part of it. Since attaining wealth becomes our ultimate goal in life, should the process begin with the first breath of life?
When I started the 4 day cavalcade we call golfers weekend, headlined by the women's US Open at Pinehurst #2 (N.C.), I was thrilled to watch the exploits of 11 year old Lucy Li, the female golf sensation whose rise in golf afforded her an opportunity to compete, as an unpaid amateur, alongside the best female golfer's in the world, in one of the most prestigious tournaments of them all. Oh yeah! Pinehurst #2, the old but newly redesigned course that is notorious for extremely tough greens, had utterly baffled all but one of the best male golfers in the world a week earlier. Li, and all of the field for this event, would be in for an immense challenge over the 4 day tournament.
Despite being an avid golfer, I had never heard of Lucy Li prior to the US Open, but I was thoroughly impressed with her confidence, her poise and her amazing swing. Stacy Lewis (an LPGA top ranked golfer) on the other hand, said that she would never subject her 11 year old kid to the kind of stress this course and this tournament promised. While my greatest wishes remained solidly in the corner of Lucy Li succeeding in this tournament, and sticking it in Lewis' face, Li did not succeed and Lewis was probably right.
In fact, Li did not make the cut. She played incredibly well for her age, but anything she did would be amazing for an 11 year old. Lucy Li actually played well for this course, better than many of her competitors and better than a lot of the men who had taken on the course the week prior. Li did not make the two day cut and got to sit in front of the firing line we call the media just for her attempt.
Certainly, I understand that this was the same media she faced before the tournament began. This is the very media who will probably usher her face into popular culture and assist in making her an incredibly wealthy person. When Li had not lost a thing and still had nothing to lose, she was composed and mature...in an 11 year old kind of way. She certainly giggled her fair share, but mostly at things that were funny (like can her dad beat her at golf), not just to hide an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Even when her tournament had come to an end, she was not nervous before the media, she was pissed. This little girl, with cute little pigtails and a mouth full of braces is a competitive monster. When asked what was her favorite part of her performance, she quickly recalled a birdie that she got. Not that she was reveling in her own success, but that it came after a triple bogey. In other words, she understands the importance of going to get it when you have to have it. This weekend, she didn't have it....and she was pissed.
Because she was pissed, so am I. Not at her competitive fire. That actually makes me smile a bit. Her fire should serve her well on her way to a career that promises to be an adventure. What makes me pissed is that Stacy Lewis was totally right and Li's parents were totally wrong.
Whatever method they have used to expedite her amazing skill for the game is hard to question. When she did not perform well on the first day of competition, Lucy Li's parents had her out on the driving range hitting driver in the blazing hot sun....six hours before her tee time. Commentators quickly noted the risk of such a decision (especially at Pinehurst #2) but became distracted from that thought when her parents began to videotape her swing so that she could analyze it on video, something golfers NEVER do in the midst of a competition. Once again, Lucy Li is an excellent golfer, and if this technique has served her well in her progression, who am I to question it?
Were these parents wrong for pushing this 11 year old to such a big stage? If the results of childhood sports prodigy's prior to Li offer some suggestion, we might have the elements of an answer. It seems that success on this stage is often gauged by dollars and cents. Take, for example, the player who won the tournament. Many years prior, Michelle Wie was a slightly older version of Lucy Li, trying to make her way onto the biggest stages of golf. Wie, much like Li, was an Asian golf prodigy who launched her way onto the scene with a Tiger Woods like whirlwind. Every since Eldrick "Tiger" Woods did it first, the world waits anxiously for the second coming. Does it matter that Tiger and most of the child golf stars who followed him are all raised the Asian Way (Tiger's mom is Asian)? For Tiger it seemed to work out. For Wie, she would probably tell you that her life needed more balance.
Does the fact that Wie just won her first major tournament at age 24 take away from the general success of the "Asian way"? Does the early mid-life struggles of Tiger Wood's distract from a career full of legend? Could their lost childhood's be partially to blame?
Every kid is different and parenting is hard. If there were easy answers to any of these questions, they would hardly become matters of debate. Preparing your kid for a tough world is smart. Sending your recently defeated 11 year old to the podium, alone, to allow the media one final chance at an ounce of flesh pissed me off. Even Dwyane Wade has a sidekick for those days he stinks up the court. When Li took to the stage after missing the cut, one question after another proceeded from the firing line. They didn't have sensitivity for her youth or for her emotional sate. Lucy Li was fair game, and the vultures pecked away. To her credit, she passed. The emotion oozed from her, but she held it in check long enough to get the job done. In that moment, she showed me all that I needed to see from her championship prospects. This kid is a winner, even if she never takes another swing of a golf club.
As for the parent$ and the pre$$ who placed thi$ kid in$ide of the pre$$ure cooker, I have one que$tion. If our 11 year old kid$ are not $acred, then what i$?
Don't answer that. I'm afraid I already know the truth. I'm afraid that we all know the truth.
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