Perfect Driver's Test Come From Cheating Or Guessing. Thanks Public Schools!

..you got WHAT on your driver's test??!!
A perfect score?

My youngest daughter just got back from taking her drivers test and stopped me in the hallway with an abrupt, come to Jesus type declaration that had me standing frozen in my feet.

"Dad, guess what??!!", she loudly exclaimed. Before I could even gather my breath to decipher what had just happened, she barreled into her good news.

"I just got a 100 on my drivers test!".

I know it is all the rage to wear your hair in the long bangs with a 70's style headband across the crown, but at the moment she said it, my ears got a little cloudy, like when you get water in them the wrong way, and a beam of light came in to shine upon the headband adorned crown of my youngest child.  Not quite an angelic beam of light, but one that combined with my daughters hair-do to remind me of that musical, Jesus Christ, Superstar.

Didn't it speak of the coming of one who would master the state driving test (without cheating or guessing on more than 3 questions). Apparently, the worker who graded her test asked did she cheat just like I did.  Not that I really thought she had cheated, but I did expect her to say she guessed on a few like the rest of us had to do.  I knew people who studied hard for the test.  I sort of studied well myself, and did just as well as anybody that I know.  What we un-believers came to realize is that they will take a driving edict that you may have learned fairly well, and word it in a way that guarantees to trip up any public school educated person.

Apparently, my daughter has been thoroughly baptized in the sacred waters of standardized testing (STEM charter school) that prophets said would be demanded of the chosen one. The more I tried to explain the consternation of the state worker who stared, for some time, at her perfect score, I realized that THIS chosen one had no knowledge of her dire necessity.  Legend had it that to break the chains of inadequate public school education, it would take someone who could master the state drivers test.  Like removing Excalibur from the stone, this achievement would mark the culmination of educational pursuits that have eluded this nation since we first decided to scratch cheat sheets on our hands before we headed to school one day (who was the first classroom cheater, and why don't we commemorate his destruction of the American school system?).

If the drivers test Messiah has truly arrived, then the chains of public school ignorance are soon to fall as well. For what is a nation if not one that can vanquish tricky drivers test questions? One where flying is still quite a bit safer than driving, that's what.

In other words, a wreck.